As soon as I became single again, in addition to profiles on social websites, I began making use of my iPhone to meet people and plan for social time together. I've always been honest by stating my correct age, height, and weight and I've always stated that I'm a divorced man. So, my profile texts have looked something like this.
age: 54
178 cm
71 kg
divorced
nonsmokers only
no excessive drinking / partying, no drugs
no married guys
no cheaters
slim only
Chat with me, and let's see what we can do.
Also, I've included a number of photos, none x-rated, some shirtless, some silly, some featuring ordinary stuff in my ordinary life, and they would ALWAYS be current, something like the following.
I've included rules of thumb like these in my philosophical approach to it all:
1. Never lie or misrepresent (If he likes me, he likes me as I am.).
2. Try to scare them away before attracting them through "over-selling" and "guarantees." (I'd rather he hate me for being real than like me for being fake).
3. If they don't provide several current pictures of themselves, ignore them and move on. (He's hiding too much already.).
4. If their pictures are NOT current, if the photos are fake, if they show the person "a mile away" or with face "too close up" or show a body without a head, ignore them and move on. (He's hiding too much. Probably he hasn't read my profile. Probably he's playing mind games.).
5. If they can't carry on a casual conversation for awhile, ignore them and move on. (If he likes me, no conversation is too boring. If he's into me, he'll talk. By talking, we can learn to understand each other.).
6. If their first message is sexual in nature, ignore them and move on. (Rude)
7. Pay attention to every word they say/write. If I sense they are being deliberately ambiguous, noncommittal, digging for too much information without giving any... ignore them and move on. (Again, he is hiding. He's playing mind games. He's not really into me. He's playing the field.)
8. Test the flow of communication for several days. If they don't bother to reply, if they don't bother to initiate contact at least half the time, if they're always too busy, if they never send photos (just ordinary spur of the moment photos), ignore them and move on. (He's really not into me. Don't waste time. Move on.)
9. If they can never do any of the traveling to meet and spend time with me (if I have to do all the traveling), then ignore them and move on. (He wants me to take all the risks. He wants convenience without commitment. He's not really into me. He's not into this. He's just milking. He's all take, and no give.).
10. No hook ups. (No love, no sex! Period!).
11. No NSA (No Strings Attached)........ (All convenience and no commitment. I'm not into that.).
12. No FINO (friend in name only)...... (I don't want a long list of names on my phone. I don't want to be on someone's long list of names on a phone).
13. No married guys. (Cheater! Stay away from me!)
14. No cheaters. (Stay away from me!)
15. No smokers. (I hate the smoke. I hate the smell.).
16. No excessive drinking (I hate the behavior. I hate the smell. I hate the vomit.)
17. No excessive partying (I prefer to spend my time and money on other things.)
You might say, all this stuff you're saying would scare most guys away!
YES! YOU'RE RIGHT! Get it?
Amazingly, I've gotten less integrity from guys closer to my age than than from younger (adult) guys, but pretense has come from adult guys of all ages! I've learned that some younger guys actually enjoy being with older guys (like me), they have had decent social skills, they have known how to behave, and they have avoided pretense. Whatever the adult age, it's been nice hanging around persons of integrity who have really wanted to hang around with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment